I have heard one too many statements that suggest men MUST cheat:
“Men, you cannot trust them!”
“Man pikin na man pikin!”
“Na so all man dey.”
I have heard this again and again from people who firmly believe that “all men cheat.” To everyone asserting that, I ask: did you poll every man? Did you sample every man? How did you conclude that every man is unfaithful? That sweeping claim is nothing more than a damaging generalization. When a woman says her husband does not cheat, some respond with disbelief, insisting he is simply very good at hiding it.
So, do all men really cheat? Do men have no control over testosterone? Are they so weak they cannot restrain themselves? Are they biologically “wired” to be unfaithful?
This belief that “men must cheat” has prompted many women to accept infidelity as inevitable. What are we becoming? Such a fatalistic message undermines the value of marriage, a sacred institution that—when healthy—strengthens families and communities. This cynical view works against stable unions, and it feels like an attack on the institution of marriage itself.
Worse, people now settle for “lesser” evils like, “If he cheats but still provides, then he’s a good man.” Wait—how did the definition of “good” shift? What is admirable about a man who fails to be loyal to his life partner?
Cheating is not inevitable. Not all men cheat. Many men choose fidelity—either through personal conviction, moral commitment, or spiritual faith. They exist.
If you are single and looking to marry, you need more than a man who says he “fears God.” Look for someone who actually lives out that faith and prioritizes it. If you marry someone based on appearance or social scene—say, a man you met at a club—why would you expect him not to stray? Focusing on outward looks rather than character is a risky foundation for marriage. No amount of physical attractiveness or sexual performance will prevent a determined partner from cheating. I have seen attractive women betrayed; beauty and skill alone don’t secure loyalty.
You need a shared foundation of values. Build your marriage on a strong spiritual and moral base from the start. Don’t bring God in only after problems arise. A relationship rooted in mutual faith and commitment is far more resilient. Choose a partner who shares those priorities, not someone defined by transient style or swagger.
And to the men who betray their partners: stop using the excuse “men must cheat” as a cover for poor choices. Self-control and integrity are human capacities. Men of character do not betray their partners.
Let’s stop spreading the harmful gospel that “all men cheat.” It fosters cynicism, damages trust, and harms future generations. It is simply not true. And, importantly, infidelity is not limited to one gender—women cheat too. The point is this: fidelity is a matter of choice and character, not destiny.