WIFE ON STAGE and HUSBAND

If you are regular here on the blog, you must have read when we told you guys we attended a family retreat at the beginning of this year. What we didn’t tell you guys is the epic performance Mr N and we put up during that retreat.

The retreat was an experience like no other. Since we came to America, we have never attended anything like that. We packed our bags and left our little home for a two-hour drive to the neighbouring state, Wisconsin. The retreat center is located in a forest – literally. So after passing through the woods we arrived at the rugged building, which was so warm and welcoming on the inside.

Our family pastor showed us to our room then we settled in and had dinner with the other Jesus-loving families at 6 pm. The retreat was on and it was fun. It was characterised by family chapel times, connecting with other families and food- lots of food.

But these are not the things that led to embarrassment.com. On day 2 of the programme, we were told that it would be a “Talent Night”. We were so looking forward to what others will present but we didn’t plan on presenting anything. This is how it worked: you write your name on a provided form and write out the talent you would like to present to other Jesus-loving families.

It reminded us of our campus fellowship days when we used to go on stage and do all sorts of things in the name of talent. One time, we even presented rap (hahaha!) But that’s totally a story for another day.

So we didn’t want to participate in the talent night. Not at all. When the time came, we were there to watch, eat popcorn and have fun. Ha. But the lady who was the host of the night set us up. At some point during the night, she announced:

“If you know you are SUPER TALENTED! but you didn’t write your name on the list of performers there’s still a chance for you to write your name.”

These are the words that changed our destiny. After she said these words, we suddenly remembered how super talented we are. We remembered how we used to go on stage and make people laugh back in the day. Then we thought, maybe, just maybe we could recreate on of our scenes of the past.

To make matters worse, a chubby man went on stage and performed an epic dance that was so funny. So we felt like we were in a safe place where one could commit any kind of folly and get away with it.

We turned to Mr N who was sitting by us and whispered, “There is this sketch we used to perform in church. We go on stage, pretend there’s something at the back of the church that is funny and we start laughing. Someone else comes on stage to ask us what the matter is. We point to the back of the building and the person starts laughing with us. Do you think we can do it?”

Like every loving husband would do, Mr N answered in the affirmative.

“We can do it,” He said.

Now we wish he had said no.

You see, each time we performed this sketch back home, we would make the audience laugh so much that brethren will have tears in their eyes. But on this day, it was a totally different scenario.

So it came to pass on that day in the retreat center in the far away forest of Wisconsin that the host of the night, a lady with a baby-ish voice stood up and announced that we, Precious had a talent to showcase,. We cat-walked to the stage where we said a quick good evening to the audience. We then looked up and pretended there was something at the back of the hall then we started laughing hysterically.

Remember, the intention was to make them laugh for nothing. We laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

No one laughed with us.

Mr N joined us and pretended to ask us what was going on. We pointed to the imaginary laughter-inducing thing at the back of the hall, hoping that our audience will look back to see. No one looked back.

Then he joined us and started laughing. WE LAUGHED.

And laughed.

And no one laughed with us.

The more we laughed, the more the audience looked at us with surprised faces. Not even our hitting and shaking of our head could make them laugh. We heard someone say in the crowd,

“What the hell are they laughing at???”

That’s when we knew the show was over. We carried myself and disappeared from the stage. Mr N followed us. And the audience clapped for us. But mehn, we knew the clapping was just a consolatory round of applause. We felt so embarrassed that we started quoting motivational quotes to myself.

Mr. N and we have not talked about it till this day.

Lesson learnt: the joke that worked in Africa may not work in America.

Have you ever had a very embarrassing moment? What was it like? We'll love to hear from you!