The things I will begin sharing with you today are lessons the Lord has taught me over the years about singleness as a Christian woman who hopes to marry one day. To be clear at the outset: wanting to be married is natural and not wrong. The Bible itself records that it was “not good” for man to be alone, the first time the phrase “not good” appears after God described other things as “good.” Desire for marriage is valid—what matters is not becoming desperate.
I’m excited to share these thoughts because they have been growing inside me for a long time, like a child developing in the womb, waiting for the right time to be born. If you are single, I invite you to relax, reflect, and read closely—these words are meant for you. If you are not single but are reading, please stay with us; these lessons contain wisdom for everyone.
The lessons we will explore are drawn from three biblical stories: Adam and Eve, Ruth, and Esther. Each offers insight into how God prepares a woman for marriage and into the attitudes and practices that support a healthy, God-centered relationship. Let’s dive in.
LESSON 1: THERE IS A FORMATION PERIOD
The Bible shows how God prepares a woman for marriage. From Genesis 2, we see a clear picture of formation:
21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22Then the Lord God MADE a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
Notice the emphasis on the word “MADE.” Other translations use “formed” or “fashioned.” This tells us there is a season when the Lord actively shapes a woman—building, molding, and preparing her for the life and relationship ahead. I call this the “formation period.”
We see a similar idea in the book of Esther:
Before a young woman’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes, she had to complete twelve months of BEAUTY TREATMENTS prescribed for the women, six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics. Esther 2:12
Those “beauty treatments” were a literal preparation of the body before a young woman could be presented to the king. While the ancient practice had its own cultural context, the important principle is the season of preparation before meeting the one God has prepared for you. For Esther, it took twelve months; for you, the timing will vary depending on your circumstances.
In both the accounts of Eve and Esther, the preparation involved the physical body. Yet that physical preparation points to a deeper reality: the Lord shaping a woman’s character, values, and heart before bringing her to the man He has chosen. The formation period is not merely cosmetic; it is spiritual, moral, and emotional formation as well.
If your desire is to enter marriage God’s way, do not underestimate this period of formation. It is a time to be humble and teachable, to root yourself in Scripture, and to allow God’s truth to form your identity. It is a season to cultivate self-control, to strengthen your character, and to grow in the way you speak and relate to others. It is also appropriate to care for your outward appearance, remembering that while people often notice the outward, God examines the heart.
Next Tuesday, we will explore the role of mentorship, drawing lessons from the stories of Ruth and Esther. I encourage you to return then as we continue this series.
God’s blessings to you!