What was I even thinking?
What was I doing?
Was I even sane?
After watching countless YouTube tutorials and practicing Mary Kay techniques, I turned up at a traditional wedding on Saturday looking like Juju Calabar’s assistant. The irony is that I had done my own makeup. By the time it was my turn to leave, calls were coming in telling us we were late, and I was in such a hurry that disaster was inevitable.
I had intended to style my natural hair for the occasion, but life and household duties had other plans. I meant to put my hair up in a bun with a side bang, and I even bought extensions and gel to make it happen. When it came down to it, though, I didn’t even comb my hair — I simply tied a scarf around it. There wasn’t even time to arrange it neatly. Ahhh.
I also planned to make my eyebrows fleeker than ever. In the rush, I asked my niece-in-law to fill them in for me. She hesitated a bit and then penciled away; when I glanced in the mirror I thought they looked fine. They weren’t. Looking back at the photos now makes me cringe. The brows were too thick, uneven and overdrawn — the opposite of “fleek.”
On top of that, I applied a gold cream eyeshadow that had looked perfect on two other people earlier. On me it went completely wrong — it ended up like ash smeared across my lids. I failed to blend it properly and it looked like something slapped on at the last minute.
To make matters worse, my face appeared shiny and oily, as if I’d rubbed banga oil all over it. Isn’t this makeup from hell?
Now I keep thinking about the other guests. What did they make of me? And yet I was smiling the whole time — which, in hindsight, made the poorly applied makeup even more noticeable. A fake smile and bad makeup are not a good combination.
So this is my confession. Next time I’m pressed for time, I’ll do things differently. My new emergency makeup rules are simple:
– Leave my face as it is and avoid heavy foundation
– Apply only a lip color or gloss for a quick polish
– Never ask someone else to fill in my brows when I’m in a rush
Have you ever had a makeup mishap? Share your story in the comments below.
P.S. — The photos showing the gory details of my makeup were deleted by someone in my life who shall remain nameless.