A few weeks ago a friend shared a disturbing experience that still gives me chills. Her three-year-old daughter was watching something on her husband’s phone and making unusual facial expressions. Concerned, my friend checked what the child was viewing and discovered it was pornography. How the toddler reached that site remains unclear, but the harm of a child seeing explicit material is undeniable and deeply upsetting.
More children are exposed to pornography and other inappropriate content than many parents realize, largely because devices are so widely available. It’s common to see young children absorbed in smartphones or tablets while caregivers attend to other tasks. That convenience can mask serious risks.
Research indicates that girls with early internet access often encounter their first pornographic material around age 13, while boys exposed early may become addicted to porn by late adolescence. These findings highlight the importance of active parental involvement and supervision when children use screens.
Audiovisual media strongly shape attitudes and behavior, and children are especially impressionable. Below are practical strategies to manage screen time and protect your children while still taking advantage of positive digital resources.
NEVER USE SCREENS AS A CO-PARENT
It can be tempting to turn on cartoons and step away, but using screens as a substitute for caregiving reduces opportunities for physical play, conversation, and bonding. Extended screen use can limit mental and physical activity and disconnect children from their caregivers. If you allow TV or tablets, limit sessions to brief, supervised periods rather than hours on end.
WATCH KIDS’ SHOWS TO KNOW THEIR CONTENT
Not every colorful cartoon is appropriate. Watch programs with your children so you can assess content and discuss any concerning behavior. Point out polite and impolite interactions and use moments in the show to teach values. Asking simple questions—“Did that character speak kindly to their parent?”—helps children reflect on behavior and learn social skills.
DON’T USE SCREENS TO SOOTHE THEM
Giving a device to calm a whining child may provide short-term relief but robs the child of learning emotional regulation, patience, and self-soothing. Allow children to sit quietly when appropriate and practice calming techniques so they develop coping skills without relying on screens.
USE SCREENS POSITIVELY
Screens can also be educational when used intentionally. Many quality videos and apps teach letters, numbers, languages, and values, including Bible stories for families who value them. Choose reputable educational content and use it to supplement, not replace, hands-on learning and real-world interaction.
GO ON A TECH FAST
Periodically switch off TVs, computers, and phones and spend focused time together as a family. Reducing the constant noise from devices helps everyone reconnect and encourages conversation, play, and shared activities that strengthen relationships.
BE A MODEL
Children learn by watching adults. If you enjoy programs that aren’t suitable for them, avoid viewing those shows when they are present. Demonstrate balanced device use and show that family time matters more than screens. When parents model moderation, children are more likely to adopt healthy habits rather than competing for attention with devices.
CONNECT WITH LIKE-MINDED FAMILIES
Be mindful of the households your children spend time with. Families that prioritize screens in every moment can normalize constant device use. Choose playdates and friendships with families who share your values about technology limits so your children won’t be pressured to mirror excessive screen habits.
DON’T BE SCARED ABOUT BEING ODD
Setting boundaries may feel unusual compared with prevailing norms, but it’s often the wiser path. You don’t have to give an 11-year-old a smartphone just because other parents do. Standing firm on healthy limits may feel odd at first, but it can protect your child’s well-being in the long run.
Which of these suggestions resonates with you? What steps are you taking to manage technology in your home? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.