Growing up, I was lucky to have a younger brother, Desmond (pictured above), who always made me laugh. He’s a natural comedian and often contributes jokes to this blog. Below is his witty take on hunger—enjoy.
Never go to an aunt’s house with an empty stomach unless you intend to leave with a full one. Trust me, if you arrive hungry and with another motive besides visiting, your hunger will find you—or your “shocks will pick you.” There are different kinds of hunger; more on that another time.
One Saturday I arrived at my aunt’s after a long, exhausting morning of work. I expected a warm welcome and a plate of food as a small reward. Instead I got endless conversation. I was too hungry to engage, so I sat quietly, waiting to be fed.
Then my aunt hurriedly dressed and left, saying she was late for a community meeting. I assumed she had told her children to serve me when she left. I waited, hoping someone would ask, “Do you want rice?” or announce, “There’s fufu and eru!” But nothing came. Not a single offer.
Eventually I asked, trying to keep my patience, “Errrm, what did you cook today?” In the noisy room, the child with a stutter attempted to answer but stumbled over the words: “I-is… rice bu…bu…but mummy my my sa…sa…says that no… bobo…bobobo oh…dy shud go…gogogogo to to the…po po…” It was clear they weren’t offering food to a guest.
Humiliated and famished, I slammed the door, stumbled back home, and begged my neighbor for garri. I mixed it with the only cube of sugar I had left, ate it quickly, and lay on my bed staring at the wall. That night I vowed to never visit an aunt’s house hungry again.