As a mother, one of my deepest aims is to love my children well. Yet some days I struggle to know what that looks like in practice. Over time I’ve discovered that one of the most powerful ways to love my kids is simply to be with them—fully present. In this post I’ll share what I’ve learned about presence and how it has transformed my relationship with my daughters.
If you’re new here, you might notice this isn’t a recipe post. I started this blog to share my heart—about food and about life—hence the name “Precious Core.” I used to write more posts like this, then shifted my focus to recipes for a while. I’m returning to sharing life reflections again. Expect posts like this on Mondays, recipes on Wednesdays and Fridays, with Friday recipes including videos. I aim to keep this rhythm, but life sometimes alters the plan. Thank you for being here; I hope both my food and life stories encourage you.
Back to today’s topic: what I’ve learned about loving my kids well.
I am a recovering phone addict. Admitting that wasn’t easy, but it’s true: putting my phone down is one of my biggest daily challenges. Notifications, social media, and messages constantly pull at my attention, and those interruptions often work against good parenting.
“Do you really have to be on your phone now?” my older daughters ask me often. Those questions usually come when they want my full, undivided attention. When I’m scrolling, I’m not fully present, and they can tell.
Being on the phone inhibits my ability to love well. To love my children well, I must be with them completely—mind, heart, and eyes. My kids value my presence more than almost anything else. They prefer me simply being with them over me doing tasks for them.
Here’s what “being with them” looks like in everyday life:
1. It looks like talking with them. My girls love to talk. They need someone who will listen and respond. Sometimes their stories seem endless and the cares of life distract me, but listening matters. When I give them time to share their thoughts, questions, and feelings, I begin to see the world through their eyes and create a safe place for them to open their hearts.
2. It looks like playing with them. They delight when I join their games—running and chasing, jumping on the trampoline, or playing a card game together. When I play as if I’m a kid alongside them, their joy skyrockets and our bond deepens.
3. It looks like speaking each child’s love language. I’ve learned that each child receives love differently. Learning their individual love languages—whether quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, or physical touch—and choosing to express love in the ways that resonate with each child makes a tangible difference.
4. It looks like cooking with them. Time in the kitchen—measuring, stirring, tasting, and talking—becomes meaningful shared time. Cooking together offers practical learning and natural conversation.
5. It looks like teaching them. As a homeschooling mom, I love watching my girls grow in knowledge. Learning alongside them—sometimes teaching, often learning—builds closeness and models curiosity.
6. It looks like cuddling up to watch their favorite shows. Cartoons aren’t my favorite, but when I sit with them and engage—even by making a comment or two—their delight is obvious. Shared simple pleasures matter.
Although I work from home, being physically present doesn’t automatically mean I’m truly present. Presence requires intention: putting away distractions, setting boundaries around devices, and choosing to engage.
How “being with” looks will vary by family and by each child’s needs. Discovering how your children best receive love and committing to speak that language will help you connect more deeply.
May we be a generation of parents who resist being glued to our phones, who look into our children’s eyes and really know them. The gift of presence is one of the greatest gifts we can give.
I’m still a work in progress, and perhaps you are too. Let’s hold on to God as our anchor and trust Him to help us love these precious children well.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
This post contains affiliate links.